Monday, May 28, 2012
Fever!
According to the Internet, I am what some described as having "fever phobia". I freak out every time my kid has a fever. Especially if unaccompanied with symptoms.
Have u been me? Do u leave in a small town with limited medical facilities? I do.
Just get well ok, A!
I am back
What guilt?
I reread some of my previous entries in my blog and laughed. It had been awhile. But yes, I still remember the incidents I described. Some of them are still sad to read. They evoke the same feelings as I felt then.
Let me see, what has guilt progressed into today?
Thanks to time, guilt towards L has lesson to almost nothing now. But talking about what happened almost make my eyes teary. All because I almost lost him.
He has grown to be a sweet and cheerful boy. It always break my heart when he said "bye bye Mama" with a resigned tone. He never fails to kiss me goodnight before he sleeps every night. I love little girls but I only love this little boy. He totally stole my heart. I will willingly stay at home to take care of hi single-handedly if not because i have a special request to help out Dad. Even then, I am half hearted n work minimal hours to get by. Who can blame me? They are my life.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Singapore
Ahhhh.... This trip is good.
The thing about expectations is- Expect the Unexpected.
I have dreading the trip here as we plan to stay put in Singapore for 1 month due to works to be done at home. Now that no work is needed for the leaking toilet, I can finally relax and enjoy my last comfortable holiday before Nanny No.1 leaves me for good.
Over-doing it?
The first night here, we walked around in Clarke Quay taking in the wonderful atmosphere before Lantern festival. The following morning? SWIMMING with the 2 little ones. The 2nd night, we almos went to CQ again... drizzles diverted us to Liang Court instead.
What happened on the 2nd morning? The kids fell sick.
Darn.
Talk about over excited mothers...
Off with the plans I have for the kids. I stayed home most of the time to accompany the kids and watched Chinese dramas off the internet. Nice.
Ok, I am off the tangent now. The whole reason I am posting this entry is - I am thankful.
Many unpleasant things have happened but they are beginning to pick up now.
I hope the children will enjoy the rest of the holiday here.
Zoo, swimming, shopping... I think that my bosses will be pleased.
I absolutely love the little ones.
The thing about expectations is- Expect the Unexpected.
I have dreading the trip here as we plan to stay put in Singapore for 1 month due to works to be done at home. Now that no work is needed for the leaking toilet, I can finally relax and enjoy my last comfortable holiday before Nanny No.1 leaves me for good.
Over-doing it?
The first night here, we walked around in Clarke Quay taking in the wonderful atmosphere before Lantern festival. The following morning? SWIMMING with the 2 little ones. The 2nd night, we almos went to CQ again... drizzles diverted us to Liang Court instead.
What happened on the 2nd morning? The kids fell sick.
Darn.
Talk about over excited mothers...
Off with the plans I have for the kids. I stayed home most of the time to accompany the kids and watched Chinese dramas off the internet. Nice.
Ok, I am off the tangent now. The whole reason I am posting this entry is - I am thankful.
Many unpleasant things have happened but they are beginning to pick up now.
I hope the children will enjoy the rest of the holiday here.
Zoo, swimming, shopping... I think that my bosses will be pleased.
I absolutely love the little ones.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
A random chapter
Ring ring
hello?
R?
Yes mum.
I am sooo hungry
o.
I have no money.
o.
Your brother took my atm card away and his phone is off now.
why dont you met me in town mum.. I will be in the hospital to visit bro and I can eat with you.
cant. No money remember?
o. sure.
now, can you order mcD for me now.
ok.
u got the number?
I can manage... mum?
yes?
if you have no money, how are you going to pay for the mcD?
I have coins and change.
o. I think they have a min order of 20 dollars or something. If you dont have enough for a cab, you wont have enough for the food.
o forget it!
.... dial tone....
ring ring...
r?
yes mum.
you know how much your sis in law love me?
(silence)
she deserves the birkin I am getting her.
ya.
she order McD for me from even though she was physically overseas.
you didnt have money to pay mum.. i dont understand the paying part.
o, I took a cab to a neighbourhood mall and change my usd to sgd and paid for my mcD
(hung up on me again)
(something is not right somewhere.. hmmmm)
hello?
R?
Yes mum.
I am sooo hungry
o.
I have no money.
o.
Your brother took my atm card away and his phone is off now.
why dont you met me in town mum.. I will be in the hospital to visit bro and I can eat with you.
cant. No money remember?
o. sure.
now, can you order mcD for me now.
ok.
u got the number?
I can manage... mum?
yes?
if you have no money, how are you going to pay for the mcD?
I have coins and change.
o. I think they have a min order of 20 dollars or something. If you dont have enough for a cab, you wont have enough for the food.
o forget it!
.... dial tone....
ring ring...
r?
yes mum.
you know how much your sis in law love me?
(silence)
she deserves the birkin I am getting her.
ya.
she order McD for me from even though she was physically overseas.
you didnt have money to pay mum.. i dont understand the paying part.
o, I took a cab to a neighbourhood mall and change my usd to sgd and paid for my mcD
(hung up on me again)
(something is not right somewhere.. hmmmm)
The Hag's Routine
my day starts at 11pm, when the two kiddies sleep. I am so tired and lazy that I am totally screwing with my grammer here.
11pm - Catch up on Movies
12am to 3am - change L's diaper
3am - entertain A's tantrum of saying everything is painful. then change her diaper too
4am - finally sleep if A is asleep
5.30am- L wakes up for milk. Where the f is the nanny? I got 2 !!!
6.30 am- A wakes up
7 am -I have my deep sleep
8 am- my day starts
Bathe L, bathe A, brush their teeths, send A to school, cook for A, cook for L, feed A, take care of A n L while the nannies eat, lunch, play with L, nap, play with L, cook for A, take care of A n L, bathe them, play, tuck them in.
24 hours a day? And that's it? That all I did?
hmmmm...
Something is not right here cause I have two nannies.
head, neck and back is aching like hell.
And I still have my life long goal of writing my biography pending.... the story is going to sell mainly because of my mum.
11pm - Catch up on Movies
12am to 3am - change L's diaper
3am - entertain A's tantrum of saying everything is painful. then change her diaper too
4am - finally sleep if A is asleep
5.30am- L wakes up for milk. Where the f is the nanny? I got 2 !!!
6.30 am- A wakes up
7 am -I have my deep sleep
8 am- my day starts
Bathe L, bathe A, brush their teeths, send A to school, cook for A, cook for L, feed A, take care of A n L while the nannies eat, lunch, play with L, nap, play with L, cook for A, take care of A n L, bathe them, play, tuck them in.
24 hours a day? And that's it? That all I did?
hmmmm...
Something is not right here cause I have two nannies.
head, neck and back is aching like hell.
And I still have my life long goal of writing my biography pending.... the story is going to sell mainly because of my mum.
Every little step is a miracle.
He really does know how to teach a woman a lesson.
All that were left were memories... but I think I didn't love L as much as A when I had him. From conception... We took it easy and I overworked my body for A. And all the stress that followed from the beginning built up. Thanks to M too.
Maybe if he had an easy start like A, we wouldn't look at him that much, we wouldn't marvel at his first stand up, or viewed his first step in awe.
So I say, take note world. This boy really pull your heart strings.
Every little step matters. Every little mouthful of rice is clever. Chewed the beef, marvelous. Sit up, thank god.
I tucked him in bed tonight and didn't lose my temper evern though it took me an hour. That hour of silence... made me relived some of the moments that I could have lost him. That rainy night.. What happened if he didn't gasp for that gulp of air in my arms. What happened if we didn't see him and he slept through the night without oxygen in him and what would have happened in the morning? I will be dead for life. All the questions and ignorance. All the retracing of the steps. Like pictures of missing persons on milk cartons. We will never know. It almost kill me again. I told myself to focus on the negative. What doesn't kill only make you stronger. I told myself I shall not disclose my insecurities about him to anyone again. Should someone asked how he is, I shall say- very well.
All that were left were memories... but I think I didn't love L as much as A when I had him. From conception... We took it easy and I overworked my body for A. And all the stress that followed from the beginning built up. Thanks to M too.
Maybe if he had an easy start like A, we wouldn't look at him that much, we wouldn't marvel at his first stand up, or viewed his first step in awe.
So I say, take note world. This boy really pull your heart strings.
Every little step matters. Every little mouthful of rice is clever. Chewed the beef, marvelous. Sit up, thank god.
I tucked him in bed tonight and didn't lose my temper evern though it took me an hour. That hour of silence... made me relived some of the moments that I could have lost him. That rainy night.. What happened if he didn't gasp for that gulp of air in my arms. What happened if we didn't see him and he slept through the night without oxygen in him and what would have happened in the morning? I will be dead for life. All the questions and ignorance. All the retracing of the steps. Like pictures of missing persons on milk cartons. We will never know. It almost kill me again. I told myself to focus on the negative. What doesn't kill only make you stronger. I told myself I shall not disclose my insecurities about him to anyone again. Should someone asked how he is, I shall say- very well.
16 month old boy
His smile is infectious. His jump is high. His temper is fiery. But yes, he is one brave boy.
L took his blood test last month in Singapore just to make sure that the gut he has is absorbing all the essential nutrients from his food intake and he took both tests in strike. The first one was a prick on a finger and 15 minutes of fruitless squeezing that the lab said was not sufficient for any test to be done. The second one is the adult version where they tied his arm with a rubberband like thing and drew his blood. He cried a little and then stopped when it was done...
The following week was followed by the MMR vaccination and he shed no tears at all. Must have been nothing to him after the blood test.
My little pride and joy.
Worries?
Yes, yes. Of course. Who wouldn't? After what he had went through since birth. At this point, I am just happy for him to get there... I don't care when. Children of friends of the same age and younger have started walking and it does bother me for a fleet second... but such a fleeting second that it went away without leaving any marks ... Cause we know he will get there slowly but surely.. Still, we don't like people to ask for comparison with their kids though...
L took his blood test last month in Singapore just to make sure that the gut he has is absorbing all the essential nutrients from his food intake and he took both tests in strike. The first one was a prick on a finger and 15 minutes of fruitless squeezing that the lab said was not sufficient for any test to be done. The second one is the adult version where they tied his arm with a rubberband like thing and drew his blood. He cried a little and then stopped when it was done...
The following week was followed by the MMR vaccination and he shed no tears at all. Must have been nothing to him after the blood test.
My little pride and joy.
Worries?
Yes, yes. Of course. Who wouldn't? After what he had went through since birth. At this point, I am just happy for him to get there... I don't care when. Children of friends of the same age and younger have started walking and it does bother me for a fleet second... but such a fleeting second that it went away without leaving any marks ... Cause we know he will get there slowly but surely.. Still, we don't like people to ask for comparison with their kids though...
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